To
love without condition, to talk without intention, listen without
judging, to give without reason and to care without expectation. - art
of true relationship
It is very hard to love unconditionally but as parents sometimes you have no choice but to do so. As your kids grow up and face real issues in life, your relationship will get tested time and again. Differences in opinions are expected. However, many parents fail in this department as they tend to harbor the "I know more than you do, so listen to me" kind of notion. Although you mean well for your child, it is not necessary that they see the thought behind your words and action at that point in their life. This will bring in lots of friction in your relatio0nship and you could end up in a "no-communication" zone with your child. This will cut you off entirely from their though process and you will realize that, overtime, you do not know your child anymore.
It is equally hard to talk without intention for some parents. I know of a few parents who only talk to their child when absolutely necessary. They talk to their kids when the kids do something unacceptable or if they need the kids to do something. Some parents are too busy with their life that they do not even have the time to look at their kids' drawings and say "wow, that so pretty!" I believe that the only intention a parent should have when speaking with thier child is to understand and nurture.
God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth with very good intention; to listen more than we talk. Yet we all tend to do the exact opposite, We are, most of time, trying to find what to say next to what we are hearing with preconceived notions. In the process, we miss out on what is being said explicitly and implicitly. I have noticed that kids tend to say something while feeling something totally different. Unless we listen to them clearly, without judging, we will lose out on the message they are sending us.
Give your kids lots of love and care without any reason. Just give them a hug when you feel like it. Do not wait till they do something great. Just hug them when they smile at you. Just smile sweetly when they look at you. The whole idea is to be warm with your kids so that they will know where to come to when they need someone to share anything.
Parenting is a full time job. That is why, I realized, that there is a need for a change in lifestyle and thinking when a child comes into your life. You cannot be the same person you used to be. Now, everything you say and do, you are affecting your child. Therefore, be the best you can be so that you can nurture a caring and responsible individual citizen to carry forward your legacy.
