Managing Your Child's Fear
What is fear? Most of the time fear is a feeling that we bring upon ourselves because of uncertainty. We could be uncertain as to whether something or someplace is safe. for example. This causes us to feel uncomfortable or suspicious of that thing or place. We are not born with fear instilled in us. It has been transferred and instilled in us overtime by our parents, teachers and those people who we come into contact with.
If you watch your kids play, you will realise that they do not really understand what fear is. They like to push boundaries for what it is worth and beyond. When a parent intrudes saying that something should not be done they would argue or at least question why. However, as time passes, we hear so many "don't do's" that we do not realize when fear started creeping into us.
As much as possible, encourage your child to push boundaries. As much as possible, answer their queries with constructive answers or at least guide them into thinking some logic. Do not rush and tell them not to do something. Unless their life is in danger, you must not deter them from trying something. You may be busy. You may be having mood swings. Try, at least, not to rush into stopping something your child is doing because it is of some form of inconvenience to you.
If you watch your kids play, you will realise that they do not really understand what fear is. They like to push boundaries for what it is worth and beyond. When a parent intrudes saying that something should not be done they would argue or at least question why. However, as time passes, we hear so many "don't do's" that we do not realize when fear started creeping into us.
As much as possible, encourage your child to push boundaries. As much as possible, answer their queries with constructive answers or at least guide them into thinking some logic. Do not rush and tell them not to do something. Unless their life is in danger, you must not deter them from trying something. You may be busy. You may be having mood swings. Try, at least, not to rush into stopping something your child is doing because it is of some form of inconvenience to you.
Welcome to the Age of Over Parenting
I am not sure why but I keep bumping into articles that are related to over parenting. So I guess It is just not me or the people around me but it is a real concern for all parents out there.
You should read this from Boston Magazine : Welcome to the Age of Over Parenting
You can read my Blog posts related to the concerns here:
You should read this from Boston Magazine : Welcome to the Age of Over Parenting
You can read my Blog posts related to the concerns here:
Do You Control Your Child's Sleeping Patterns?
Parenting Dilema - Good Hygeine Practices for Children
My Mom Said She Would Get Me Anything If I Behaved!
Great tips for moms who work at home
I am a freelance writer, blogger and I do catering in my spare time. Also, I get crazy ideas to organize sprees and love to try out new things. In short, I work from home for a living. As such, I have a 4 yr old to handle when she comes home from nursery. I can't say I handle this responsibility to the best but I try and have a great time at it too.
I publish my thoughts on Helium.com from time to time and I would love to share with you an article I have written in coping mechanisms for moms who work from home. Do have a read and post your comments here. Thanks :D
I publish my thoughts on Helium.com from time to time and I would love to share with you an article I have written in coping mechanisms for moms who work from home. Do have a read and post your comments here. Thanks :D
Parenting Dilema - Good Hygeine Practices for Children
I just read the post in Cafe Mom- A Little Dirt is Good For Babies and I have a few thoughts on them.
I am also of the opinion that children need to have complete freedom to explore the world around them. My mom used to be on my case every now and then saying that I do not sanitize my daughter's toys enough or that I do not care about the hygiene levels in the household.
I keep my house clean although not to the extent of getting to every nook and corner of the house every single day with my duster and broom. However, I do make it a point to get to them at least every two weeks. No one has fallen ill because of "low" hygiene levels around the house.
When I was in Singapore, the amount of time my daughter gets to spend with the nature is quite limited. We used to go to school,, come back, go to parks every now and then and that's basically all the time she used to get with nature.
Ever since we have come to Bangalore, things have changed. She is spending more time at the parks with her new found friends. She gets all dirty and sweaty by the time she gets home. She plucks flowers and save them till she gets home to show them to me. She makes excellent sand/mud cakes. Her fingernails needs to be cleaned well, sometimes brushed, to get all the grimes and dirt out.
So far she has not fallen ill because of that. Previously, my daughter was always catching cold. She used to be confined to the four walls, either of her school or home. Now that she is in the open and with all the dirt and germs she is much healthier. I would say that her immune system and her coping mechanisms have improved a great deal.
I have seen parents carry hand sanitizers with them everywhere they go, especially after the SARS Breakout. At that point, it was necessary but do we need to obsess so much with it now that we are Okay? I used to carry a hand spritzer when I bring my daughter to the park.However, after a day I realized that I want to keep my daughter clean, I will have to confine her indoors.
Kids are kids and they need to be left with nature with all its shortcomings so that they have a healthy learning and interaction with the environment. Also, this will in turn build heir immunity levels to fight off diseases. These are some of the things I have realized and if you are an overprotective parent, you will consider letting your guard down for a while to see the positive effects of it.
I am also of the opinion that children need to have complete freedom to explore the world around them. My mom used to be on my case every now and then saying that I do not sanitize my daughter's toys enough or that I do not care about the hygiene levels in the household.
I keep my house clean although not to the extent of getting to every nook and corner of the house every single day with my duster and broom. However, I do make it a point to get to them at least every two weeks. No one has fallen ill because of "low" hygiene levels around the house.
When I was in Singapore, the amount of time my daughter gets to spend with the nature is quite limited. We used to go to school,, come back, go to parks every now and then and that's basically all the time she used to get with nature.
Ever since we have come to Bangalore, things have changed. She is spending more time at the parks with her new found friends. She gets all dirty and sweaty by the time she gets home. She plucks flowers and save them till she gets home to show them to me. She makes excellent sand/mud cakes. Her fingernails needs to be cleaned well, sometimes brushed, to get all the grimes and dirt out.
So far she has not fallen ill because of that. Previously, my daughter was always catching cold. She used to be confined to the four walls, either of her school or home. Now that she is in the open and with all the dirt and germs she is much healthier. I would say that her immune system and her coping mechanisms have improved a great deal.
I have seen parents carry hand sanitizers with them everywhere they go, especially after the SARS Breakout. At that point, it was necessary but do we need to obsess so much with it now that we are Okay? I used to carry a hand spritzer when I bring my daughter to the park.However, after a day I realized that I want to keep my daughter clean, I will have to confine her indoors.
Kids are kids and they need to be left with nature with all its shortcomings so that they have a healthy learning and interaction with the environment. Also, this will in turn build heir immunity levels to fight off diseases. These are some of the things I have realized and if you are an overprotective parent, you will consider letting your guard down for a while to see the positive effects of it.
Monitor Your Child's Facebook Activities Free of Cost with MinorMonitor!
MinorMonitor is the brainchild of Social Identity Services Inc, which is a wholly owned subsidiary of Infoglide Software which has been in operation since 1996. With quite a history in application designs for fraud and security systems, Infoglide subsidiary has come up with MinorMonitor to ease the pain of parents of this era!
Basically this is a free service at present with aims to offer premium service for a fee later on. At present, you just need to sign up at their site http://www.minormonitor.com and give them your child's facebook credentials. This program will them crawl your child's facebook every now and then and will send you regular updates as to what is happening in your child's Facebook World!
You can monitor up to 4 kids using this service. Actually with your spouse in tow, you can monitor up to 8 kids with each of you holding an account.
Also, this system does not even require you to have any software downloaded. As long as you have an Internet connection, you can keep tabs on your kids.
What can you keep track using MinorMonitor?
You can keep track of friends
You can keep track of pictures
You can keep track of which pictures your child has been tagged in
You can keep track of their wall posts
You can keep track of their language
Why is MinorMonitor so helpful?
MinorMonitor is not just a crawling robot that downloads data from your child's Facebook account. It actually analyses the activity that goes on in your child's Facebook account and give you insights into areas such as:
Suspected bullying activity
Suspected abusive languages used
Suspected friends (thotse friends of your child with very little mutual friend connection etc)
Suspected sexual advances
The list can go on...
Is there any downside to this form of protection? Hold on to that thought and I will post my thoughts on that in my next post.
Meanwhile, do let me know your views. Thanks.
Basically this is a free service at present with aims to offer premium service for a fee later on. At present, you just need to sign up at their site http://www.minormonitor.com and give them your child's facebook credentials. This program will them crawl your child's facebook every now and then and will send you regular updates as to what is happening in your child's Facebook World!
You can monitor up to 4 kids using this service. Actually with your spouse in tow, you can monitor up to 8 kids with each of you holding an account.
Also, this system does not even require you to have any software downloaded. As long as you have an Internet connection, you can keep tabs on your kids.
What can you keep track using MinorMonitor?
You can keep track of friends
You can keep track of pictures
You can keep track of which pictures your child has been tagged in
You can keep track of their wall posts
You can keep track of their language
Why is MinorMonitor so helpful?
MinorMonitor is not just a crawling robot that downloads data from your child's Facebook account. It actually analyses the activity that goes on in your child's Facebook account and give you insights into areas such as:
Suspected bullying activity
Suspected abusive languages used
Suspected friends (thotse friends of your child with very little mutual friend connection etc)
Suspected sexual advances
The list can go on...
Is there any downside to this form of protection? Hold on to that thought and I will post my thoughts on that in my next post.
Meanwhile, do let me know your views. Thanks.
My Mom Said She Would Get Me Anything If I Behaved!
"My Mom Said She Would Get Me Anything If I Behaved!"
Just as I was helping my daughter with her swing in the park, I overheard a little conversation between a mother and her son which was deeply disturbing to me as a mother.
"Dear, stop doing that... the sand will get into your eyes"
"BUT I LOVE ITTT..... IT'S NICE"
"No dear, it's gonna fly into other kids' eyes and it will hurt them.. stop doing that, please"
"I DON'T CARE!"
"Okay now... I'll get you anything you want when we get home if you would just stop that and behave!"
The response was quick and the boy stopped scattering sand all over the slide when he heard that sentence!
I was astonished and actually wanted to tell the mom what she is doing to her son is far worse than what her son was doing with the sand and what could have potentially happened if the sand got into anybody's eyes!
I have read in papers and surveys that kid's nowadays are spoilt. However, I had trouble understanding the whole concept of it as such. Kids are kids then and now. How could things be so drastically different? And what is so special about the kid's of this generation?
I got my answer. It's not the kid's who are any different but the parenting style of our generation. I do not intend to generalize and state that all parent's are like this mom. However, I feel there is a considerable number of us parents out there who do these kind of things.
Bribery is a way of correcting a wrong behavior?
I certainly do not think so. I would give my daughter a much better regard in this case. I believe my daughter, who is just 4 yrs old is much more capable of understanding what an acceptable behavior is and what is not. If she is in doubt I take the time out to explain it to her. I do not intend for her to understand the first time or even after several repetitions. However, I believe she will get it one day.
And I do not give the authority of correcting my child's behavior in the hands of whatever it is that I could bribe her with. Trust me! My daughter would be happy to behave if I offered her sweets. However, I do not play by that book.
Just as I was helping my daughter with her swing in the park, I overheard a little conversation between a mother and her son which was deeply disturbing to me as a mother.
"Dear, stop doing that... the sand will get into your eyes"
"BUT I LOVE ITTT..... IT'S NICE"
"No dear, it's gonna fly into other kids' eyes and it will hurt them.. stop doing that, please"
"I DON'T CARE!"
"Okay now... I'll get you anything you want when we get home if you would just stop that and behave!"
The response was quick and the boy stopped scattering sand all over the slide when he heard that sentence!
I was astonished and actually wanted to tell the mom what she is doing to her son is far worse than what her son was doing with the sand and what could have potentially happened if the sand got into anybody's eyes!
I have read in papers and surveys that kid's nowadays are spoilt. However, I had trouble understanding the whole concept of it as such. Kids are kids then and now. How could things be so drastically different? And what is so special about the kid's of this generation?
I got my answer. It's not the kid's who are any different but the parenting style of our generation. I do not intend to generalize and state that all parent's are like this mom. However, I feel there is a considerable number of us parents out there who do these kind of things.
Bribery is a way of correcting a wrong behavior?
I certainly do not think so. I would give my daughter a much better regard in this case. I believe my daughter, who is just 4 yrs old is much more capable of understanding what an acceptable behavior is and what is not. If she is in doubt I take the time out to explain it to her. I do not intend for her to understand the first time or even after several repetitions. However, I believe she will get it one day.
And I do not give the authority of correcting my child's behavior in the hands of whatever it is that I could bribe her with. Trust me! My daughter would be happy to behave if I offered her sweets. However, I do not play by that book.
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