As a parent I constantly feel the need to protect my daughter from everything. I feel like I need to interfere when another child does not allow her to use the slide at the park. I feel the need to help her out when she is trying to take off her clothes when its time for bath. I feel I need to monitor her every move so that she does not get hurt and so on... You get the idea.
Even when I am feeling this need to help her and protect her I know deep inside that I need to let her do her things on her own. I know I need to let her fight her own battles. I know I need to let her figure out how to make friends. I know I need to let her figure out how to best use her abilities to do her daily chores by herself. I know i need to let her form her favorites such as favorite colors favorite dresses favorite toys etc...
As such, i figured out that sometimes we, as parents need to learn which are the battles we need to win and which are the ones that we need to let our kids win. Just like us, adults, our kids feel the constant need for appreciation and power. this helps to build their self confidence which will in turn help them learn the ropes of living their life to the fullest.
I figured that whenever I tell my daughter what she can or cannot do, she gets very much frustrated. As much as some form of control is necessary, there is no need to keep tabs on everything. If we, as parents try to control everything, we will not only end up raising kids who are afraid to try out new things but we will be raising kids who will have low self confidence. We may not see the effects of our overly controlling nature affect our kids right now. However, as they grow older and start living their own lives, they will blame us for their inability to cope because we have made all the decisions on their behalf when they should be doing it.
As a conclusion, I have reached this point my life where I have realized that we need not control the lives of our children. It is not only harmful but also impossible as well. We can control their actions but we can never control their minds and their feelings.
Hold on to that thought....
Even when I am feeling this need to help her and protect her I know deep inside that I need to let her do her things on her own. I know I need to let her fight her own battles. I know I need to let her figure out how to make friends. I know I need to let her figure out how to best use her abilities to do her daily chores by herself. I know i need to let her form her favorites such as favorite colors favorite dresses favorite toys etc...
As such, i figured out that sometimes we, as parents need to learn which are the battles we need to win and which are the ones that we need to let our kids win. Just like us, adults, our kids feel the constant need for appreciation and power. this helps to build their self confidence which will in turn help them learn the ropes of living their life to the fullest.
I figured that whenever I tell my daughter what she can or cannot do, she gets very much frustrated. As much as some form of control is necessary, there is no need to keep tabs on everything. If we, as parents try to control everything, we will not only end up raising kids who are afraid to try out new things but we will be raising kids who will have low self confidence. We may not see the effects of our overly controlling nature affect our kids right now. However, as they grow older and start living their own lives, they will blame us for their inability to cope because we have made all the decisions on their behalf when they should be doing it.
As a conclusion, I have reached this point my life where I have realized that we need not control the lives of our children. It is not only harmful but also impossible as well. We can control their actions but we can never control their minds and their feelings.
Hold on to that thought....
